if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
