i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
