It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
