Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
