Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm too high and old for this...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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