I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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