What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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