he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
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What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize