My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
