don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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