Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
