apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
COCAINE IS GR8
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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