google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
