she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
