i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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