I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
