Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
