I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
