he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
