the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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