She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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