I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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