I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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