I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
