why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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