I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
