Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
