So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
