When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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