everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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