THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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