You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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