I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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