I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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