Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
