Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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