omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
