My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she smelled like a LAN party
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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