now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
