I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
