How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just invented taco cereal.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
