I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize