shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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