The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
