last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
