I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
