So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
