How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
this just has baby written all over it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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