This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
