happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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