Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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