I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
