i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
