Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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