So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
