If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
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I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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