I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
