Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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