No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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