I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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