"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
