Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
