My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You're completely useless in the revolution.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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